When I saw the lovely inspirational quote below about people draining or inspiriting you and to choose them wisely, it lead me thinking about my whole career thus far, the people I have met along the way and, the cornucopia of knowledge, skills, guidance and disillusionments that I have come across in what I call my ‘Journey to Empowerment’.
The truth of the matter is my journey has been one of highs, lows and lulls. If I get you to think of the Kübler Ross Change Curve… and that lovely dip at stage 4, which takes one into depression. There were times in my life when I would have happily taken my duvet and pillow and nestle down there locked away under the comfort of this barrier. But I’m a fighter and have strong convictions about where I’ve been, where I am now and where I want to head towards. With these thoughts and feelings, come experiences with people in general. You will meet people who consistently inspire you without you asking for an audience; then you will meet people who consistently drain you!
As soon, as you top up and get yourself to a place where you’re feeling good about everything and nearly everyone…! Guess what? They top up too! They listen to you and make comments and, in some cases keep commenting until your ‘good feeling’ top up is depleted, leaving you wondering why on earth you gravitated towards this person in the first place and, more to the point, why are you still listening to them! They’ve totally dehydrated you and you’re feeling bone dry and in need of some hydration to boost you up again.
Think of the M1 motorway. It starts in London and ends in Leeds. Of course there are other junctions and motorways that feed off the M1 but, ultimately the route is London to Leeds. Why am I talking about the M1 you ask? Well, life and our Journey in Life, is a bit like the M1 motorway. The journey itself is there mapped out and the ‘slip-roads or junctions on and off the motorway can be seen as significant points in your life and/or career. The people that you meet are a bit like the motorway junctions in your life….. Think about it. On the M1 you will see Scratchwood Services and pass it and know that when you get to Newport Pagnell you’ll be ready for that break. Then again, you may feel you can keep going on to Watford Gap!
Whatever you choose to do on your respective journey in life and, how you choose to do it or who you choose to engage with be it networking, mentoring, general work or just socializing; know the people you want to surround yourself with. People that elevate you are far more appealing than people who consistently suppress or demotivate you. Don’t get me wrong…. They may be really nice people…. But the truth of the matter is when you come away from your conversation, you feel drained, or more to the point dehydrated!
Have you ever had an occasion when you’ve met someone, who you are friendly with and you’ve chatted to for a while and, when you come away you feel refreshed, happy, and full of joy? Or… should I say hydrated?
Life’s too short to spend in someone else’s box!! Spend time with people who allow you to be you.
Jacqueline A. Hinds
Emotional Intelligence Coach
Wilson Hinds Consulting Ltd
The views expressed by the writer are not necessarily the views of the Springboard Consultancy Ltd.